Business

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Attempts: Do No Harm: / 6

1. Revising for Conciseness

Time is money in any business environment. To be successful in the business world, you must be able to create concise and easy-to-read messages.

As you revise, eliminate flabby expressions, long lead-ins, fillers, redundancies, and empty words. Your audience will appreciate your brevity.

Which of the following sentences contain flabby expressions? Check all that apply.

Complete the sentence with the most concise option.

are canceled this week.

Read the following paragraph, and choose the best revision for one of its sentences.

Dr. Blake is retiring at the end of the month. There will be an unoccupied office upon his departure, and it is big in size. Because each

and every one of the other offices is fully occupied, it is recommended that we convert Dr. Blake’s office into a lounge. It is absolutely

essential that this issue is discussed at the next staff meeting.

Evaluate each of the following sentences, and choose the most concise revision.

It is the user who should contact the help center.

I am sending you this letter to inform you that we have experienced an unexpected surprise within our expense sheet, but we are positively certain we

He seldom returns text messages.

Feel free to help yourself to the delectable desserts in the break room until such time as they are all consumed.

Alessia will probably be promoted.

In the event that Marie calls, please inform her that we will be proceeding along the normal course of events.

Contact Jorge; he can allow access to the beta version.

Because every other office is occupied, it’s recommended that we should convert Dr. Blake’s office into a lounge.

Because every other office is filled, we should convert Dr. Blake’s office into a lounge.

The user should contact the help center.

It is the user who should contact the help center if there is a problem.

The user should contact the help center as to whether or not they have a problem.

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will solve it.

I would like to inform you that the Johnson report might not be complete by the deadline.

We have identified a problem with our expense sheet, but we will solve it.

I am sending you this letter to inform you that we have a problem with our expense sheet, but we are positively certain we have a

solution.

We have experienced an unexpected surprise with our expense sheet, but we are midway to an end result.

The Johnson report might not be complete by the deadline.

I am unsure as to whether or not the Johnson report will be complete by the deadline.

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